Diary of an Ex-Urban Yogini

 I have just returned from leading my 7th Yoga Retreat at Sky Meadow Retreat in Stannard, VT....way up north, think Canada. Just like in yoga (3 parts of the om, three gods, etc,.) I enjoyed the beginning, middle, and end equally; the drive into Cambridge, seeing old friends, realizing in just 3 months Cambridge and I have split and just like getting over a breakup, I found myself in the acceptance stage.  No hard feelings, no longing to be back, no tears.  I think I surprised myself to be quite frank.  I expected much more fanfare from my parts that spent so much time in this little city. (13 years).  Instead I found a new appreciation for my new home.  The overpowering sound of crickets and cicadas at night.  The glimpse of the bold red cardinal here and there out my kitchen window.  The sea and the quiet. The space inside my home which is just right.  This is my life now. 

As I drove to Vermont, I found more beauty and wonder in the changing of the leaves and found myself exclaiming to myself "how beautiful is this?"  and why am I not living here?  I promise myself a life in the mountains before I die.  I find it incredibly grounding.   The truth is, I was never supposed to end up in Cambridge, MA.  I landed there for school and to follow my sister who I have since become much less dependent on in the last 5 or so years.  I have truly risen above the idea that I can not make things happen for myself and by myself.  This retreat was a display of re-assurance to myself that yes, I can do it! 

The importance of retreating can not be overlooked.  Each one I find reminds me how vital it is to get out of your usual environment and step into the arms of nature.  The sounds of wind blowing through trees, the power of meditating with others in the morning, eating delicious nurturing and healthy food, practicing yoga and being kind to your body/mind.  Taking time to reflect on how you are practicing life.  

I hope that those who do not have a retreat practice will set aside at least 2-3 x per year to get away and do this for themselves.  Save your money from going out for drinks, eating out, fancy products you don't need, clothing that will be boring in a few weeks and come on retreat.
The next one is November 8-10th weekend at Sky Meadow.  www.yogawithnatalie.net for mor info!

Til next time...
Natalie

Yoga for the Love of it!

     As a yoga practitioner and educator with at least 7 classes per week on my plate, I admit that I do not always love to go to the mat.  Okay, let's be honest...sometimes it is the last thing I want to do. If you've been practicing yoga for awhile or at least trying to be consistent, you know that the antidote to resistance is to boost your tapas practice.  Tapas is our discipline, fire, and will to do the practice (no it's not Lobster Ravioli cooked the Spanish way). Look, let's just call it "powering through" if you know what I mean.
     I knew it was time for a blog post when I found myself heading to the mat because A.) my significant other was resisting getting out of bed and doing something fun, and B.) there simply was nothing else to do.  So I headed to my mat and turned on my Yogaglo and welcomed myself to my practice via Elena Brower's voice.  Yoga was just what I needed and because it was Saturday morning I hadn't scheduled it at all. It was downright glorious!  Her message was to access the softness within intensity: perfect.  I had an incredible moment of possibility when the choice was presented to do Legs up the Wall or Headstand.  Then it hit me.  The power of yoga and only a yoga dork would see it this way.  The choice!  I chose headstand but not because I was simply powering through. I chose it intelligently, knowing that a legs up the wall would be right around the corner in an upcoming practice. I paused for at least 10-15 seconds to really ask myself what I needed.  By choosing headstand I chose to embrace my strength and bring a rush of blood to my head.  Siggggghhhhhh.  Feeling alive!
     So this blog post is a tribute to all of us who remember why we started practicing yoga in the first place.  It wasn't because we needed another activity to schedule into our day.  It wasn't because we needed to "work on something" and I doubt it was about fixing anything. It was about feeling connected to ourselves, feeling delicious openings in our hamstrings and shoulders and other places we had no idea were tight.  It's about giving ourselves a gift that is permanent and love-filled. So heres to yoga!  Raise your glass and sigh. Ommmmmmmm.

Eating Right: Cooling Down with Local Farm Fresh Food!

Yesterday I took myself out for the day.  I was on a mission for fresh farm food; think watermelon, arugula, peaches, organic lettuce from the farm.  Well, I got all of that and then some.  Check out my journey below.
 Most people who know me, know that I am a pretty decent cook.  I find that working with food comes very natural to me and I'm inspired by the simplest of foods paired together. I'm particularly interested in colorful simple meals. I find that the more simple the recipe is, the more room for flexibility and creativity. Just like yoga, if you start with the easiest version of a pose, you'll never go wrong.  Here are some inspirations to cool you down as the heat continues to rise into the deep 90s.

DINNER 
Watermelon, Arugula, and Feta Salad w/Balsamic Glaze!
On my way out to Wine and Farm Country yesterday, I picked up a gorgeous watermelon and some peppery arugula at Schmitt's Home Grown in Riverhead and by the time I got home, I was eager to get in the kitchen and whip up this simple yet elegant summer salad.  You can't go wrong with this one.  I had some grilled tuna rolls w/avocado and lime vinagrette on fresh bread from the Blue Duck Bakery so this dinner was decadent and very summery with the Tuna and Lime and sweet watermelon.   To make the salad you simply cube some watermelon, layout some fresh arugula, and top with the watermelon cubes and some Feta cheese.  Reduce Balsamic Vinegrette on high heat to about 2 tbsp and drizzle over the whole thing. Enjoy!

After dinner I enjoyed a delicious bar of chocolate and some Oyster Bay white wine while I watched some TV with the A/C and fan blowing directly at my skin!

Breakfast
Watermelon and Strawberry Smoothie
I like to start every day with coffee and a breakfast smoothie in the summer. In the winter, I might change to hard boiled egg and banana or yogurt and granola but in the summer I just want to cool down!  This morning I took advantage of the whole watermelon from Schmitt's farm and made a Watermelon and Strawberry Smooothie.  How refereshing!  It's light, so hydrating, and gorgeous to look at.  I recommend using frozen whole strawberries, this way your smoothie will be COLD just like you want it during a heat wave!

I'm on my way to pick some blue and dark purple hydrangeas from the yard, and continue a gorgeous day!

Book Club and all things Literary!

Get ready for July!  The online book club pick is "The Subtle Body: The Story of Yoga in America" by Stephanie Syman.  I am a quarter way through the book and am enjoying learning about the early roots of yoga.  Did you know Emerson was the first American yogi???  Here are some links to enrich your book reading experience this upcoming July!


New York Times Book Review
http://us5.campaign-archive2.com/?u=99099d3d8e49e86110255e6bf&id=8c7ba0cd50&e=868a839984

You Tube Author Reading: Stephanie Syman
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8fu59KHnVI
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Miss you!!!!
N

Online Yoga Book Club!

Greetings!
For all of you who know me well or even a little, you are aware of my love of knowledge and books.  Working at the Cambridge Public Library gave me unlimited access to the best and newest books.  Since I've moved, I've missed that.  Maybe I just have too much time on my hands with only 2 classes to teach per week?  Either way, I've been wanting to start an online yoga book club for as long as I can remember so here it is!  I hope you will join me in reading the book and then discussing it as we go along.  I look forward to practicing with you Off the Mat!  I miss you Cambridge yogis more than I can say!!!!   To join the book club "Follow" my blog so I know you are reading with me:-)

HAPPY READING!

July Online Book Club Pic:

"The Subtle Body: the Story of Yoga in America"

How to be a Stranger

This morning was a strange Sunday morning in Long Island.  For the last 5 years I have woken up to an alarm on Sundays to head over to the Lily Pad (a 5 min. walk from my house) and be greeted by my favorite people: my yoga students.  It was so good to see everybody and I got the feeling that students were happy to see me.  We waited all week for this!!!  In most cases I knew everyone's bodies, mental fluctuations, family situations, life stress, and favorite yoga clothes.  After an hour and 15 minutes of breathing, stretching, and letting go, we would om and open our eyes saluting each other in Namaste.  I would wish everyone a great day by name and watch my yoga friends walk out the door in a much more peaceful state. 
Today is a different day. I've left the Lily Pad behind to another teacher and I find myself in a strange studio in Stony Brook (a pretty house with gravel driveway) set off from the main road.  The room is humid and the floor is wet with sweat. I was told there had been an Ashtanga yoga class just minutes before.   The front desk people turned on the A/C in the room stating that the Hatha people didn't like to sweat and were picky about the temperature.  I am thinking, "no kidding".....I am not into the sweaty yoga thing either.  Minutes later the smell of sweat drifted away and was replaced by normal a/c summery room smell.  The students trickled in and I was greeted by smiles but not warmly.  The students seemed in shape, 40s and 50s, and serious.  My students know that I am anything but serious! 
So here I am feeling as if I need to win these yogis over in order for them to be open to the yoga process.  I cheerleaded myself on with various phrases, testimonials heard just recently from Cambridge yogis, and the usual mantras.  By the end of the class I felt good enough but not amazing.  Normally after class, my Cambridge yogis and I talk a bit about whats going on in their lives, what they are up to for the day, and other various small talk.  This did not happen.  I felt strange, sized up, and NEW.  
So what have I learned after all of this?  I guess I learned that whoever said I wasn't like other yoga teachers was right.  No, I don't think I'm enlightened, above anyone, or an authority on yoga.  I feel that my mission is to get people to be more in touch with their hearts and authentic selves.  I am learning that not everyone will be open to that and maybe they go to a different teacher.  Maybe I haven't found "my" students yet.  Maybe that's okay.   I'm learning yoga every day and this is not the beginning or the end.  This is part of the journey.  I am trying hard to be gentle with myself.  I'm stepping down from my Lily Pad pedestal and joining the world of the "new teacher' again.  It's not easy but it's life.
I miss my Cambridge yogis more than ever.  What joy we've created together. What openness and friendliness.  I am so proud of all of my Cambridge students and of our community.  But as yogis I guess we are all in this together and no matter where you go you'll find the teacher is always you.
Namaste!!
Love,
Natalie

Like New Shoes for the Spirit

                                                            NEW PRACTICE SPACE




This past week has been strange and strangely relaxing.  I haven't had a giant change like moving in lots of years.  Coming off of leading my Summer Yoga Retreat in Vermont just this past Sunday has been the perfect way to land into the unknown aka Long Island.  I have a whole list of "news." New house, new neighborhood, not having roommates, driving when I'm used to walking everywhere, new yoga studios, new schedule, the list goes on and on.  Within all this newness I find myself suprisingly fearless. Yes, you heard it right.  I have already visited a yoga studio in Stony Brook that I will begin teaching at this Sunday!  Of course I am unsure how the students will receive me, how I will receive them, or if this will be the right fit but I know this is nothing to worry about because the teaching is what counts.  When you find your calling you can't be concerned about the tiny details because no matter what you are programmed to "Show up at the plate."  It's refreshing to remember that when we can't know, we can't control.  There is something freeing about relinquishing control and acting for the sake of acting.  I do feel like I'm living Arjuna's fate in the bhagavad gita.  This sacred text reminds us to act and to let go of results.  Why?  Because we can't possibly know any outcome.
I believe that the universe provides in the clearest of ways.  For me it was hearing all of my students testimonials.  I have used these kind words of encouragement and praise to assist me in my new auditions and interviews to teach.  Thanks to all of my Cambridge students I have much more confidence in myself and my teaching than when I left Kripalu in February 2008 after my teacher training.   I have been told I have "a gift for teaching." Well, if that is the case, I believe I have something to give you.
What about you?  How has the universe provided for you in the last few months?  How can you "show up" in the toughest of situations and remember to let go of outcomes?

I hope to see you on the mat!
Peace,
Natalie

Not Goodbye: Letter to my Students

Hi All,
Tomorrow I will teach my last classes at the Lily Pad at 7am and 8:15am. It is with a heavy heart that I leave these classes and this city. I started classes at the Lily Pad 5 years ago in 2008.  I was fresh out of yoga school. I was so passionate about yoga's ability to heal and transform lives that I walked right into the Lily Pad one afternoon and asked the owner if I could teach a yoga class on Sunday morning. I was scared to death!  It seemed that no one else was teaching there except for one class on Saturday morning. (Later I found out Gill, the owner's wife: Caroline).  We sparked a deal that I would clean the Lily Pad top to bottom every Sunday in order to teach the class.  I made some very simple flyers for "Sunday Morning Yoga" and hung them up at the 1369 and surrounding private businesses.

I was amazed the day of my first class when one, two, four, ten people showed up.  It was perhaps one of the most joyful moments in my life.  And now I will spill the beans: I've always done things the hard way.  My childhood was not a supportive place allowing me to thrive, in fact, I got my GED and went to college but I never graduated college.  I was fighting and struggling through my adolescent and teen years...those years were dark. I don't know what it's like to celebrate those hallmark events that everyone else has. Graduation? Don't know! Prom? what? I DO know what it feels like to find your calling; to know and feel in your bones that you were meant for something and it was meant for you. To have so much passion that nothing can get in your way, on your way, to making your dreams a reality. This I do know.

The more I taught yoga, the more I saw lives changing in front of my eyes and what's more, testimonials came pouring in. What I saw wasn't me changing lives or yoga changing lives but the strength of all of us to connect within and find that spark, that light, that true authenticity that is just waiting to be called out.  Yoga sets the stage for connection but it is YOU who are courageous, willing, and determined to live your authentic life.  I am just so honored to have witnessed your becoming; your blossoming into Jivan Mukti (liberation). 

As I move away I will no doubt find new students and continue the path of setting the stage for authenticity and joy.  You will burn on in my mind. I will see your faces in my new students as we begin our first class, I will hold back a tear. You will burn on in my heart. I don't see this as goodbye because what we've created is infinite.  What we've created is stone, is strong, is solid and can never be taken away.


Peace be with you always and may I see you in a future retreat or unexpected moment.

Love,
Natalie

No Longer Here Nor There

Last night I had a get-together with work friends. We were celebrating the end of my tenure at the Cambridge Public Library.  Though I was only there for a mere 8 months, what a wonderful place to work it was.  Yes, there could be days that the patrons tested my patience and I thought: "what good is all this yoga and meditation if I'm still caught up in my reactions?"  When I step back and remember, I find myself smiling for all the opportunities I had to learn equanimity, neutrality, and well....practice my yoga "off the mat."

So that is what the days have been like since late May: weeks of lasts:  last walk at Cat Rock Park, last walk at Assabet, last weekend in Weston, last day working at the library and ahead of me: last Sunday yoga class and finally, last class at the Lily Pad for a long time if not forever! Before I leave, I am leading a Yoga Retreat in Vermont (my 6th one I believe.) I love that I am ending my yoga time here with a retreat!!! It seems perfect.

It no longer feels strange to be in this state of flux.  In fact, it might be more strange when I finally arrive in my new home where Peter has been settling in and setting up. I have missed him so.  He is a professor and so it is quite normal for him to be away but he's starting our new life and I am back here!  I am eager to get back to him and I suppose that's what makes it easier to focus on the new beginning.  I suppose I am not sad as my journey is lining up the way I had hoped.  I was blessed to teach yoga to so many wonderful people, find love with an exceptional person in every way, and start a life together.  

While I don't think I'm a person who has a hard time with change to begin with,  I sort of feel that my body is on automatic and I'm doing what needs to get done.  Is this denial?  The important thing is I've made peace with my mind, body, spirit in the state of flux and seem to be welcoming whatever comes my way.  I welcome endings and beginnings.  I welcome them in a state of celebration not regret, for new things to come and to all that I have built in the last 5 years: community, love, respect;  honoring  and accepting our deepest selves.

So with this blog post I toast to endings and welcome the state of limbo where I am no longer here nor there.  Bring it on!

Hot Day Breathing

I have officially changed the name of my blog from Urban Yogini Seeks Bliss. Why?  Well, I will no longer be urban and I am not "seeking" bliss.  I am living bliss.  Back when I started this blog I was seeking many things.  Through my practice over the last few years (growing stronger), I have built a new relationship around being content within and sometimes without.  This is why I am now focusing on living in bliss.  I hope you will focus on the same and let go of any seeking, any searching outside of yourself.

On the Mat
SHITALI BREATH:
Between the upcoming final move to Long Island and the final goodbyes and the heat, I needed an anchor.  I found it in Shitali breath. This is a cooling breath that can be practiced on sweltering hot days like today or moments when you just need to cool down.

HOW TO PRACTICE SHITALI BREATH:

To practice this breathing, sit comfortably with your chin slightly dropped. Curl your tongue and take a deep sip of breath as if using a straw.  Flatten your tongue against the roof of your mouth and hold your in breath for 5 counts.  Then exhale slowly through your nose to complete 1 round.  Practice 3 to 5 minutes of this followed by down dog, side angle, 2 sun salutations, pigeon pose, legs up the wall, and savasana!

Peace to all!
Natalie

Inquiry of Life's Movements

As I head into my last few weeks here in the Boston area, I can't help but reflect on the path I've traveled so far.  I am grateful for this opportunity of change that enables me to be in the present holding all of this abundance; the people I've met, the classes I've taught, the business I grew, the library job that helped me stay afloat financially whilst teaching what I love.  It is very important for me to focus on this growth instead of getting stopped in my tracks when fear of the unknown hits, which it does, daily!
As a person who has embraced science more than religion but spiriuality all the same, I must say faith is very important to foster and cultivate at times of big life change.  Faith means that you simply are saying yes to the way your life is unfolding. It means that you can trust nature, the inevitability of loss and growth, and also ebb and flow.  It is not a blind faith.  It is an inner "knowing" that life will persist just as the seasons show us growth, death, abundance, renewal.  The sun rises, the sun sets.  So will we.

I hope that you will follow me as I seal up a 5 year love affair with the Lily Pad.  I will continue to manage the business from Long Island while hiring a teacher to teach the classes.  Just because I am a 4 hour drive away does not mean I am not your teacher.  I will continue to spread the love and message of yoga through this blog, yoga retreats in Vermont, workshops, and in spirit.

UPCOMING EVENTS YOU'LL LOVE: This Friday!: 6:15-7:45pm, Chakra Yoga Flow, $20 (or class cards), Third Life Studio (We'll flow through all the chakras, open and free your body/mind!). Hold your spot: email nbrooks323@gmail.com


Next Month: JUNE 14-16th,  Summer Yoga Retreat in Vermont  (my last event in the area until September!) $350, Sky Meadow Retreat in Stannard, VT. Register: www.yogawithnatalie.net

My Last Class Day: Wednesday June 11th 7am and 8:15am.  We'll have goodies after 8:15am class.

September: Autumn Yoga Retreat, September 27-29th, $350, Sky Meadow Retreat, Stannard, VT
Register: www.yogawithnatalie.net

Big Changes for Yoga with Natalie

Just returned from my third weekend in Long Island looking for a place to live with my partner, Peter. He accepted a job at Stony Brook on the North Shore.  We have chosen a very cute single family home to reside in starting July 1st.  It feels good to get this off of our chests and know that we can finally focus on building our new lives.
I never ever thought I'd leave Cambridge and if I did, I always thought it would be to Western Mass or upstate New York; somewhere really liberal with a lot of hippy joints.  Well, our new place is only 10 minutes drive to the beach, so that can't be bad!  Peter has been so supportive with my yoga business he is urging me to turn the living room into a yoga studio which I plan to do. I am so grateful to have a partner who never doubts me nor lets me doubt myself or my abilities.  I am excited and scared to start a whole new business out of my home and with strangers!  But I guess that's how it started almost 5 years ago in the quirky ole' Lily Pad in Inman Square.
I am looking forward to the absence of city noise, the sounds of nature, and a quiet practice in my home.  I'm looking forward to new beginnings with the love of my life.  It may be that I've had more time to process this so I am now in the acceptance phase but I have been on an emotional rollercoaster these past few weeks.  Yoga is the one thing that has kept me steady and focused on the positives.
Classes at the Lily Pad will continue with Kira Pullig taking over in July.  I will be returning to the area for a Retreat in late September, Thanksgiving Yoga in November, and a workshop in February. I then plan to do a Spring Retreat in either the Catskills Or Vermont.
This whole process has made me so grateful to all of my students, the fact that this was possible to begin with, and to the changing nature of life itself.
Peace!!!
Natalie
CLASSES WITH NATALIE CONTINUE UNTIL END OF JUNE.

The Art of Attention: Who do you need to Forgive?

Over the last year, I have watched my practice change so much.  Where before my practice was a "thing to be done," now is a thing that is happening at every moment.  I suppose this is how I became so drawn to Elena Brower as a teacher, a virtual one on yogaglo.com but still!  I have really enjoyed Elena's mix of philosophy, alignment, and transformative approaches to yoga.  Her new book is such a joy that I would love to spend my "attention" fully on it.  At $50 a pop, this is a real gift to oneself and should be ingested like a strong puerh tea, not missing any notes of orange outside of the chocolate.

The practices look wonderful and are structured in "waves" getting you closer in towards your true nature, but the art work is beautiful too. The first chapter of the Art of Attention book is about Reducing Tension and Finding Forgiveness.  I know that I will use this practice almost every day.  Don't we always have to forgive someone and ourselves?  I find that working with the public, I need to constantly be aware of how I'm coming across and how I'm receiving others energies, words, and intentions.  I forgive the people who do not treat with me with the respect that I think I deserve. Maybe they returned a frown after my smile.  I forgive myself for being short or judgmental with others.  Yes, it's wonderful to forgive and you do feel a whole lot lighter and clear, but the main quality that comes out of this is the ability to be aware in the first place that you are behaving in a way that does not serve the highest goal which is connection, love, and peace.  Everyone is your brother, sister, mother, husband, wife, child. We are all but drops of water from the same ocean! Forgiveness is the ability to constantly re-evaluate behaviors and let them go, replace them with respect and love.

I plan to delve deeper into this notion of reducing tension and forgiving as I glide into my week.

Happy Patriots Day to all and please breathe!

True Refuge: Live Everything

It has been a long time folks since I've shared my experience with all of you.  Since November (the last time I wrote) I have had wonderful holidays with family, a long snowy winter, and have been indulging in lots of yoga on yogaglo (mostly restorative, slow flow, and just now getting back into core strength).  There is a part of me that constantly nags to get up and move around more, do more cardio but I am gentle and patient with myself as I open to more vigorous movement...waiting for winter to melt away (I do brisk walking for cardio).  

So, what am I up to these days in regards to inner life: 
I'm reading a book (of the many) called "True Refuge" by Tara Brach.  Ms. Brach is one of my favorite meditation/mindfulness teachers; love her dharma talk podcasts and her books.  Her book Radical Acceptance got me through Yoga Teacher Training like a good friend encouraging me to embrace myself as is, and open to the YTT experience fully without holding back.  Now I am slowly but surely making my way through this second book.  True Refuge is all about finding Peace and Freedom within.  Realizing that the mind is building stories and realities in record speed while we gaze into life but really, our gaze needs to turn inward, leave the stories behind and find refuge right there inside the uncomfortable feeling, negative thought, or charged emotion.  Peace is only a breath away inside you.
One of my favorite techniques that Brach invented is RAIN.  This may be applied any time that you are resisting experience whether it be pain, shame, blame, aversion, anger, sadness etc,.  Here's the technique:
R  Recognize what is happening
A  Allow life to be just as it is
I   Investigate inner experience with kindness
N  Non-identification

Sometimes, these techniques can help us remember that we do not need to feed in to each and every feeling or sense experience.  Just like yoga, we can find the pause between the in and out breath, the space between thoughts (freedom) investigate and question everything.  That is what a true yogi does! 

Remember nothing is final.  No feeling is final.  There is no beginning or end to a yoga pose. 


With that, I hope you will spend some time watching and witnessing experience.  Allowing yourself to truly be with what is, finding refuge and comfort within your own body and spirit. 

A FAVORITE QUOTE:

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, ...Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.” -Rilke

What else am I doing?
Meditation 
Using Groupons: Hit up the Elephant Walk with the boyfriend this weekend
Walking: Took a long walk at Prospect Park in Waltham
Watching: Girls and the show Revenge.  I'm just addicted to the show but I totally don't believe in revenge! I'm also watching the Tudors....interesting show.
Eating: I just got off a stint of making and eating soups like crazy but now back to Kale and Qunoa.
Saving: I'm working on saving money and I've learned a lot about making myself happy, questioning what I need versus think I need.  I am debt free (except for student loans)...it took 1 year but I feel free! 
Reading: True Refuge, Glaciers by Alexis Smith, Age of Miracles.
Traveling: I'm heading out to Long Island this weekend.  I have never been to Suffolk County so looking forward. 
Teaching: Wednesday mornings now in addition to Sundays! So fun to practice before the sun rises and as it's coming up!
Practicing Yoga: My yoga practice is very organic, fitting it in when I can and doing what feels good!

What have you been up to this past winter?  Are you ready for Spring?

Peace to all,
Natalie