No Longer Here Nor There

Last night I had a get-together with work friends. We were celebrating the end of my tenure at the Cambridge Public Library.  Though I was only there for a mere 8 months, what a wonderful place to work it was.  Yes, there could be days that the patrons tested my patience and I thought: "what good is all this yoga and meditation if I'm still caught up in my reactions?"  When I step back and remember, I find myself smiling for all the opportunities I had to learn equanimity, neutrality, and well....practice my yoga "off the mat."

So that is what the days have been like since late May: weeks of lasts:  last walk at Cat Rock Park, last walk at Assabet, last weekend in Weston, last day working at the library and ahead of me: last Sunday yoga class and finally, last class at the Lily Pad for a long time if not forever! Before I leave, I am leading a Yoga Retreat in Vermont (my 6th one I believe.) I love that I am ending my yoga time here with a retreat!!! It seems perfect.

It no longer feels strange to be in this state of flux.  In fact, it might be more strange when I finally arrive in my new home where Peter has been settling in and setting up. I have missed him so.  He is a professor and so it is quite normal for him to be away but he's starting our new life and I am back here!  I am eager to get back to him and I suppose that's what makes it easier to focus on the new beginning.  I suppose I am not sad as my journey is lining up the way I had hoped.  I was blessed to teach yoga to so many wonderful people, find love with an exceptional person in every way, and start a life together.  

While I don't think I'm a person who has a hard time with change to begin with,  I sort of feel that my body is on automatic and I'm doing what needs to get done.  Is this denial?  The important thing is I've made peace with my mind, body, spirit in the state of flux and seem to be welcoming whatever comes my way.  I welcome endings and beginnings.  I welcome them in a state of celebration not regret, for new things to come and to all that I have built in the last 5 years: community, love, respect;  honoring  and accepting our deepest selves.

So with this blog post I toast to endings and welcome the state of limbo where I am no longer here nor there.  Bring it on!